Think crooked?

I can't think straight these days, well maybe I should just say these past two days.  I saw Black Swan yesterday, man what a really intense movie that was! yikes! I noticed I was tensed up the whole movie, fists clenched, legs flexed, I left feeling worn out.  On my way home from dropping Aubrey off I realized, I'm very stressed out and that movie brought it all out. My body is sore all over from stress, my mind is constantly going, constantly thinking, I started crying uncontrollably.  Ever have that time when your mind just won't stop?  Oh my god, JUST STOP please, pretty please? I'm thinking about jobs, what I want from myself, if I'll actually be able to move out, do I take jobs I don't really want for the money, I should be crocheting, I should be making my button plugs, I should be working towards a bigger goal.... I'm just always thinking. Shit, this would wear anyone out.

So I stopped to think some more, really Tiffany? really? idiot! I need to realize I have only two arms and two legs, I can only do so much. One thing at a time, do what's most important first, and when I'm done with that, do what's next.  I know, this sounds very juvenile, everyone knows that's how it works, so do I.  I just needed the reminder, I needed to remind myself to take it easy on myself.  I tend to be a little too hard on myself.  I knew I was pushing the "real job" hunting to the side because I've NEVER done something like that before, it felt great. But I knew that when it really hit me it would hit me hard, I was just hoping it wouldn't?  haha.  I needed to sacrifice some time with some really important people so I could get some of this clutter cleared out of my mind and start to feel like I was heading in a direction, any direction really, lol, start feeling like myself.

Last night I tried to meditate for a little while, jesus that shit is hard.  I'll try again tonight, I think I will really benefit from the time to quiet my mind, focus my thoughts and really learn to feel and hear myself, to quiet everything else so I can hear all my thoughts clearly, concisely; they all need their chance to be heard in the whirl wind and tornado that is my head.

One day at a time. Today I feel better, except something I ate upset my stomach.  One day at a time.
Hi, my name is Tiffany, and I'm a stress addict.

On another note: on etsy they do 'How-Tuesday'.  Here's a really cute and quick article on how to make your own little mittens... http://www.etsy.com/storque/how-to/how-tuesday-quick-mittens-11614/?ref=fp_blog_image
And while you're there, check out my stuff, I listed a few more button plugs today, they're pretty cute and colorful... http://www.etsy.com/people/BarelySewn

I hope everyone is well. Until next time.